Who’s Standards Are You Really Uti(LIE)zing?

Unfortunately, it’s sad to say…

Sometimes you actually have to pose questions to certain types of people.

You know questions such as …

Is it possible to speak on YOUR issues without bringing melanated women into it?

It’s quite interesting…

I notice that if you are voluptuous like Lizzo there seems to be an issue.

Even if you are toned like Meg Thee Stallion, it’s STILL seems to be an issue.

It’s amazing how women’s body types in history books are regarded with reverence yet they critique those same body types that grace our present.

At some point I think we as a society should stop trying to make melanated women’s bodies an issue and ask ourselves what is the REAL issue?

I also find it quite interesting how certain individuals speak on not using Caucasians as the standard yet don’t mind pushing the narrative of using Caucasian body types as “the standard”, some even go so far to attempt o push a narrative as if Caucasians are the “health” standard too.

That within itself seems to be an issue…

But anywhoo..

To me both “standards” are another form of gaslighting.

Especially, when melanted women no matter what their body type is.

Are still being stereotyped.

So, at SOME point we got to be like Public Enemy and

“Don’t Believe The Hype.”

For, the inquiring minds who want to know …

Yes, I am sitting here typing with a big ass clock and some shades on as I type this…

With some high tops on…

But back to the subject at hand…

I’ve observed that the platforms (not the 70s shoes) but the social platforms that seemed to be the most successful in Black Women’s fitness are the ones that are filled with love and inspiration.

You know the platforms such as Reggie C Fitness and Xtreme Hip Hop With Phil.

These type of individuals seem to hold safe spaces for melanated women… These type of men are also not using verbal abuse then acting obtuse.

Intentions Matter.

Motives Matter.

How you choose to motivate others also matters…

It has gotten to where certain individuals have gotten so disrespectful you no longer have to ask where their intentions lie…

One reason is because they can no longer lie.

This is one of the many reasons consequences must come forth.

The abuse MUST stop.

No longer will ill-intentioned individuals be able to be the source to cause black woman’s pain and make money off of black women through ill-gotten gain.

How can you be a conduit of pain and then tell someone how they are to go about dealing with shame when you had something to do with their pain?

Thank goodness for amazing organizations such as Black Girls RUN!

As well as other amazing organizations that truly care about melanated women.

No disrespect towards Black Girls Run organization but sometimes I wonder if one reason they started the organization was in response to the gaslighting towards melanated women especially when it concerns aspects of our health.

If we really are honest Black women been running..

Remember Shug Avery?

That woman stopped her manicure to do the lawd’s work…

I don’t know about you but every time I call on the lawd an melanated woman show’s up…

But anywhoo..

Since we on the subject about melanated women running…

I also find it quite odd how the ill-intentioned love to spin narratives about Black Women and fitness yet when the Olympics come they quite as HELL!

If you TRULY care about Black Women’s Health, it should also involve mental health.

It should involve not saying or using verbal assaults and then hiding behind certain platforms telling Black Women they eating too much salt..

How dare you attempt to throw salt on the wounds of melanated women while attempting to create platforms telling them to heal while ALSO telling them they should buy your new vegan seasoning that can make their “kundalini” rise…

WTF?

I feel that the time has come where we as a society have to realize that there are certain people who claim they adore Black women but their actions show that they actually despise Black women…

These are the ones that need to be analyzed.

You can’t expect individuals who despise you to NOT lie to you…it’s their nature.

But once again back to the subject at hand this time on the black hand side..

Sometimes, you gotta recognize where certain people stand.

When these type of people show you where they stand you can’t allow them to have a hand in your plans.

They have a saying…

Always listen twice.

First, what’s being said and THEN who said it.

It’s too many people saying things instead of relaying things with good intentions.

Attempting to let out their inner inhibitions on Black women who really ain’t paying them no attention…

But, for those few who are….

Melanated woman I implore you to remember who you are…

You are the circle of life….

Somebody please que in Mr. Lebo M….

Ahhhh Zebbbbbbenya !!!!

Let’s continue to pack light……

Dipped In Love,

DaSh’e

1313

AMHWJBO

The Layers To Woman Is King /What’s The Real Issue?

I feel that sometimes with certain conversations the pain can be so intricate that the conversations have to be dealt with in a certain manner.

I also feel it is important to divvy up certain conversations and address certain issues layer by layer.

The movie Woman Is King would be one of those conversations that I feel has many layers.

Layer#1

Is there an underlying anger towards the bait and switch with certain movie trailers?

You know the movie trailers that initially portray one plot then when you get to the theater it’s a whole another plot.

Layer #2

Attempting to hold melanated:

Women

Community

Movies

And

Certain melanated people who occupy certain positions

To a higher standard but not the same higher respect.

Layer #3

The need to dismantle certain mantras that are not beneficial to the melanated community…i.e. “white is right” which can lead to horrific outcomes /situations such as the Jeffrey Dahmer case.

Layer #4

Individual’s not addressing their internalized misogyny or just misogyny in general.

Layer #5

Also addressing certain scenarios where the individuals who boycott a movie also can do a bait and switch.

You know the type of individuals who will “say” they are boycotting or creating a movement.

However, it’s just they are too scared to say what their true moves/motives are, so they have to hide behind a movement.

Layer #6

Individuals who really have an issue with the title of Woman Is King but don’t want to say it.

Layer #7

Individuals who just want to be entertained but scared to say it because they don’t want to be verbally maimed….. (In my Terrence Howard voice) lol.

Layer #8

Due to so much gaslighting towards the black community truly

understanding how certain reactions are really trauma responses.

Layer #9

The dynamics of certain people who don’t know or really don’t have the capacity to be respectful towards other cultures.

Somehow these same people have the AUDACITY to write, edit, and attempt to narrate the stories of the same cultures they continually disrespect.

Then have the nerve to sell it…

Literally and figuratively.

For me personally, this is one of the main reasons I appreciate organizations and people who can provide safe spaces for the melanated community to unpack the layers of trauma because unfortunately there were many underhanded layers of ways that certain ill-intended individuals handed the trauma out…

But anywhoo…

Back to unpacking the layers.

Layer #10

To elaborate from layer #9…

That is one of the con’s to gaslighting it ends up being like the story of the boy who cried wolf.

I would also like to add another aspect to this writing.

Depending on your perspective maybe there are also beneficial layers of

The Woman Is King movie.

Layer # 11

This movie is inspiring the thought that white isn’t always right especially when it comes to writing or telling the melanated communities stories.

I think this can also raise the question:

What other mantras are being repeated in the black community that is not conducive to the black communities well being?

Layer#12

This film can inspire talks to actually SPEAK to the OFFSPRING of the actual tribe instead of taking the word of a middleman who may or may not have the best of intentions.

We can also apply this layer locally..

Layer #13

Maybe this film can also bring up another layer of questioning which is :

Are certain types of Caucasians even capable of writing or even telling stories of other people’s culture in an honest, accurate way?

Even more why do certain Caucasians not use that energy to talk about their own culture…. accurately?

But anywhoo back to us…

I feel it is imperative that we as a community continue to support and appreciate the good intentioned melanated storytellers, reporters, magazine editors and producers of truth and the stores and safe spaces that carry the products of truth.

Think about it if we as the melanated community are dealing with these type of issues on the outside it is no telling what our melanated producers of truth are dealing with on the inside.

God is plan….

At the end of the day…

We gone make it….

Dipped In Love,

DaSh’e

1313

AMHWJBO

The Illusion Of Inclusion.

I would first like to start off as saying that I’m so appreciative of organizations and events that can recognize when people are playing the illusion of inclusion game.

I also appreciate how there are people who choose not to play it and instead decide to parlay it.

So, with that being said.

I’ve also noticed how there seems to be a certain element that has attempted to come forth..

This particular element is the same type of element of people who like to hide under the illusion of inclusion.

For, SOME ODD reason the illusion of inclusion crowd likes to come over to the TRULY inclusive places and attempt to take over.

It’s very odd… maybe James Baldwin was on to something…lol

However, back to the subject at hand.

It’s very odd to me when I see events that ALREADY CULTIVATE an environment of TRUE inclusion are the ones that have to make “disclaimers” that all are welcome.

Despite, the truly inclusion crowd not having any history or an incident of discriminatory practices.

The true inclusion crowd was doing a Barry White the whole time and practicing what they preach.

They weren’t telling us this and telling us that.

They were the lesson and the teachers.

Teaching us how to go deeper and what it can look like on the other side.

The other thing was a lot of times the reason certain events and organizations had to start were because of being ostracized even if sometimes it was covert.

Sometimes it was so covert they had you ” Thinkin Bout It”, like Gerald Levert.

If we are truly honest, these type of events and organizations began because people were not truly being included.

Despite, the illusion of inclusion crowd doing what they do best.

The true inclusion has set the bar and have shown me, that when you are truly about inclusion you don’t have to hide behind an illusion.

Now, don’t get me wrong I understand how things can SOUND good.

However, if the individuals involved intentions are NOT good then what’s the point?

I get it “diversity” kinda has a ring to it.

Especially if you are into slogans.

However, sometimes certain slogans can make things slow again.

MESSAGE!

If your actions and behavior is not lining up with your interactions of those of different backgrounds.

Then what are you REALLY doing in the background?

I truly believe that if we as a society are truly serious about diversity then it’s time for a reset.

No more marks or making people a mark then telling them let’s go.

My question to that is:

To what?

More confusion?

It doesn’t have to be a competition it’s really should be about the intention.

Personally, I have respect for people that let you know upfront they would rather be around their own people.

At least you know.

I think in certain situations people being around their own people shouldn’t be seen as a threat.

Especially if that culture of people has done nothing to you.

Nor have a history of attacking other cultures of people because of a selfish, immature scarcity mindset.

But back to the subject at hand.

What I am observing is that certain individuals (when it’s beneficial) like to hide behind the illusion of inclusion.

It’s interesting how the illusion of inclusion has attempted in so many underhanded ways to convince the truly inclusive that THEY should have to bend over backwards (no pun intended) to show how THEY ARE inclusive.

WTF?

Where they do that at?

It has come to a point where lessons have to continue to be learned and one of those lessons is don’t be so “diverse” to allow someone of ill-intent to come in to ruin what you have created with good intent.

Balance that out…

I also feel that the reason the “kumbaya” thing isn’t working is because certain types of people like to hide behind service.

That’s why they getting nervous when you ask them questions such as thier name and they love to try to hide behind “we are all the same”.

Yet their actions remain the same.

I feel if you are going to attempt to integrate yourself within certain aspects of another’s culture at least come in with good righteous intentions and also be willing to listen.

Otherwise, you’re looking like you are just on a reconnaissance mission which won’t work out well for you.

Are you listening?

But hey maybe it’s like Mos Def said:

“The hard-headed always gotta feel it to believe it.”

I am at a point in my journey where I feel that those who really and truly want to do this diversity thing and are truly sincere about it.

It is important to make sure the foundation is right.

I’m learning the right foundation is starting with self.

Even though self is on a continuous journey.

At, certain points of the journey it is possible to begin to implement and see certain aspects.

One part of those aspects (for those that see fit) is to set a proper foundation within your own culture first.

Yes, I must admit that I also believe that each culture needs to heal separately amongst themselves as well.

If not, you are going to continue to see what’s been happening… people trying to create “UNI-TEEEEE” because it SOUNDS good but not addressing the underlying issues which causes a continuous crack at the foundation.

I think once we heal separately, then MAYBE (in my Major Payne voice) we can possibly come together and heal collectively.

However, that’s not possible if we don’t POP the illusion of inclusion out of our mouths.

I didn’t stutter in this writing so what I’m saying is if you keep allowing the illusion of inclusion squad to keep coming around you and your organization and try to tell you how to set YOUR foundation.

It won’t work.

You can’t expect people of a certain element who despise you to heal you.

Ask yourself…

Even if you have to do it in your Judge Mathis voice.

Wasn’t that the reason you started the event/organization because you saw a crack in the foundation?

My second question is ……is ya happy?

Let’s get back to the basics …

Of OUR PRINCIPLES…

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

1313

AMHWJBO

The Importance Of Seeing Non- Predatory Melanated Men In Our Media

I just got through watching the second season of the Ms. Pat Show.

I must say that I thoroughly appreciate the element that Ms. Pat and her show brings.

I think that Ms. Pat is an amazing storyteller that really has brought the saying to actual life:

Take the bricks others throw at you and build a firm foundation.

Now, at the same time I wouldn’t be surprised if Ms. Pat took a couple of those bricks and had to do a couple of “Oops Upside Your Head” to a couple of folks.

But, hey ain’t nothing wrong with a little razzle dazzle now and then..lol

Maybe one day they will learn to get up and dance…

On the good foot.

Life as well as bricks have a way of building character and teaching boundaries..lol

When some folks fall down and get back up (if they can) I’m sure a little lesson also was attached to the bricks..

Maybe that’s how some people become “Brickhouses” shout out to The Commodores.

As well as The Gap Band and Parliament (the real ones) and the oh so illustrious Mothership Connection who makes sure your feet won’t fail you now…

That is if you on the good foot.

Shout out to James Brown and whoever Fred was…lol

But back to the subject matter at hand..

You know since it’s about the matter…

Right?

Rite?

So as I continue to write about The Ms. Pat Show…

As I stated before Ms. Pat being is an amazing storyteller.

I absolutely love the dynamics between her and Terry.

It’s a breath of fresh air to see melanated men in a non-predatory manner and roles on or off the screen.

As I continue to learn and grow I realize it’s so much more to having

relationships with the opposite sex.

As Salt -N -Pepa say “Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that we see.”

Long after the “thrill” is gone..as B.B. would say (not the one with Ce Ce)

B.B. King or Kang as my beautiful grandma would say.

It’s more to it than I like you ….You is cute…now “Let’s Get It On” or sometimes “Come Get To This”.

Shout out to Marvin Gaye…even though back in the day I thought BenGay/ Ben Gay was his brother…

Thank goodness for the wise elders…

Who took the time out of their busy schedules and later on took me to the side and told me not to EVVVVVA disrespect Marvin Gaye in that manner again.

At least that’s the edited PC version of what took place.

But back to Ms. Pat…

In this, show dynamic it’s great to see Ms. Pat show (in her own way) Terry how to speak up in certain matters and not allow people to run over you.

I also like the element that Terry’s character brings where it shows that there are melanated men who have integrity and are mindful of who they allow access to them sexually.

Diversity in the diversity right?

It is also interesting to see how throughout Ms. Pat and Denise’s unfortunate trials and tribulations of having to deal with older predatory males how they were and still able to triumph.

It’s also refreshing to see another aspect (one of many) when it involves the melanated man.

I’m appreciative to see aspects of a melanated man (one of many as well) who is willing to hold space a “safe space” in action and deed for Ms. Pat and Denise.

I also appreciate how Terry can navigate the delicate waters of knowing when to step back and acknowledge that in certain situations women have to handle things amongst themselves.

Especially, when it is dealing with the equally delicate process of getting rid of the trauma that Ms. Pat and Denise endured especially concerning their childhood and certain aspects of male culture.

It is ALSO a teachable moment to see how Terry is unpacking certain things that has been passed down to him concerning a certain aspect of male culture that may not really be of his TRUE culture.

All in all I’m glad that this show and these stories that it brings forth and entail are finally being telled and not tailed in an illusionary tale.

Intentions Matter.

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

1313

AMHWJBO

A Step In The Right Direction/When True Inclusion Doesn’t Require Illusions.

Some say all it takes is one step.

I think it’s amazing as well as great to see visuals of young melanated girls being protected and stood up for.

Sometimes you have to go back and start at the basics…

So, why not start with Sesame Street?

Even if people want to have a McDowell vs McDonald sesame seed bun conversation and say it’s Sesame Place not Sesame Street.

I’m feeling like Morris the Barber, ” I’ma call it Sesame Street”.

Anywhoo…

Sesame Street is as basic as you can get as far as planting a seed into a foundation.

It’s kind of sad but there was a time where it was actually okay to put young black girls on the front line of a march…

Yet, it seemed as if no one was marching for them.

So, I think it’s great to see visuals, conversations and organizations that will step in for young melanated girls showing in action and deed that they are just as kind, smart and important.

I feel situations like Sesame Street can also be used as teachable moments…

For adults, to acknowledge how this Sesame Street scenario is possibly bringing up their first experiences of rejection.

After, the adults and children can acknowledge and go through the process of processing how they truly feel in safe spaces.

Maybe, it can also turn into a lesson of the importance of melanated children not allowing the opinions of others to dictate who they are.

As well as showcasing to melanated children the many options that are available to them to just BE.

I would love to see these young beautiful children on Tab Time.

Even though Sesame Street initial demographic started out as a show geared toward the black community.

I’m sure there are plenty of other melanated shows that is for the melanated children’s mind and are very mindful of what enters the melanated child’s mind.

I’m sure that there are also plenty of melanated shows that truly have good intentions towards melanted children and not just giving an illusion of inclusion.

It’s kinda interesting how it can make you rethink the phrase “If you can’t beat em, join em”.

But you ain’t heard it from me…

(In my Benita Butrell voice)

I also can understand why for some people one reason they empathized with these young girls is because similar situations might have happened when they were younger.

Sometimes, when stories are too familiar, it can get personal…

At, some point if EVERY generation is saying the same thing about a certain type of behavior pattern it must long for completion.

But anyhoo back to the subject at hand.

So, for me I now realize why I have such a special appreciation for adults who can acknowledge and take the steps needed to heal certain thought patterns that lead to situations that happened in their childhood.

I also appreciate adults who make sure that now that THEY ARE ADULTS they refuse to allow certain types of mentalities to be passed down to the next generation.

I’ve seen how these types of adults navigate and how they know firsthand that one of the many pitfalls of the illusion of inclusion is eventually that illusion will get torn down.

Inherently, it seems they know to make way, for when it’s true inclusion there is no need for an illusion.

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

1313

AMHWJBO

Contributions Until/Are Not Monolithic Until/College Hill

I am a couple of episodes in watching the rebooted version of College Hill.

Yes, it brings back certain memories when the show first began back in the early 2000s.

Yes, I’m looking for my white-t as we speak…lol

I guess that is also one of the many benefits of getting older.

After gaining a bit more experiences in life you see things differently or catch things you may have missed while you were younger.

For me it can be like that with certain movies and t.v. shows.

I think that depending on what your mindset is what you will see or get out of a movie or t.v. show.

Maybe “The Dramatics” was on to something….

However, back to the subject matter…

I was watching Stacey Dash and even though I feel that there is something deeper going on.

I appreciate the element that she brings to the show.

I’ve heard off and on that “black” people are not monolithic however it seems whenever a melanated woman has a difference in opinion somehow the monolithic conversation ceases.

I have noticed that Stacey Dash is not the only melanated woman that this happens to, I’ve observed this happen to women like:

Chrissette Michelle

Oprah Winfrey

Mo’nique (The Comedian)

Ms. Phylicia Rashad

Whoopi Goldberg and many other melanated women.

What’s even more interesting is despite all the contributions these women have made individually as well as to the collective.

All they have to do is have ONE difference of opinion and it’s like things come out of the woodworks.

I’ve even seen situations where women who have a different opinion are MORE ostracized than the individual who was actually in question.

But back to Stacey Dash…

I think a documentary on melanated women who have felt bullied by the black community and sometimes ostracized from the black community would be an amazing concept to explore.

With this documentary it wouldn’t be “pointing fingers” at the black community but pointing inward towards healing within the black community.

To really showcase that in context we might not be monolithic however we can be monolithic in providing that safe space for each other despite differences of opinion.

I can’t help but notice especially with certain talking points and certain political associations there is a certain archetype that comes into play.

I’ve noticed that certain individuals that have been bullied within the black community are sometimes utilized for nefarious purposes.

Sometimes knowingly sometimes not.

However, I feel that if certain aspects of the black community would engage in having the bullying conversation, amazing things can continue to happen.

I guess maybe that is why I appreciate individuals and organizations that implement safe spaces and talk about bullying in school settings because unfortunately child bullies can grow up to become adult bullies.

I’ve seen how bullying can play out from the school setting as children into the workplace settings as adults.

Even though I’ve had conversations with people who say otherwise and love to say “You, see I turned out fine”.

I look at them and graciously thank them for proving my point.

However, back to exploring….

I think it is important to explore some of the reasoning behind WHY certain individuals from the black community seek other cultures ways of being as well as to ensure that if they decide to seek other cultures ways of being, it would be based on a conscious decision and not a trauma-based decision.

I think that is one reason with certain types of black people

it can sometimes come across as if they are talking AT the black community versus TO the black community.

Especially, with certain talking points.

I feel that bullying type situations also contribute to some black women seeking out other cultures in order to be accepted.

In, certain circumstances I can’t say I blame them.

However, in certain circumstances I can also see how certain cultures who have a predisposition of manipulation sees this scar and not just on some lying or Lion King stuff take advantage.

I have observed certain cultures attempting to use individual’s cultural scars for their own plots and plans.

I’ve also seen where a lot of times because the intentions were wrong from the start it caused the individual even more trauma.

Unfortunately, if you take on another cultures ways of being without first being yourself you also take on that cultures thought patterns which sometimes can be another course of confusion because those thought patterns are not truly your own.

It’s just a band-aid.

I think that is why for some people they get confused when the culture that they ran to cannot provide aide.

It then seems to be a pattern where now they once again feel alone and misunderstood.

I think that is one reason I love documentary’s so much is because it allows you to see through another individual’s lens..

Of course I think that even with certain documentary’s you still have to be mindful of the person on the other side of that lens who you invited to film your story.

I think when melanated individual’s stories are being told as well as filmed I think it is imperative that the melanated individual make sure that the individual they hired does not slip in a bias lens on a melanated individual’s story.

I think the reason some individual’s can’t work together on a project is truly because of creative differences.

I feel there really is something to the phrase “creative differences” especially if the individual is trying to project or create something without addressing thier underLYING issues.

You know that’s how some things can get distorted.

But back to College Hill….

I have to admit that seeing the joy on Stacey’s face when she was dancing with the beautiful HBCU dancers was a joy to see.

It was like even if just for a moment she was in her own element.

I also feel that in Stacey Dash’s own way she has impacted certain aspects of black culture as far as fashion and let’s not forget Stacey Dash was on a lot of posters and magazine covers.

She is a beautiful woman.

I saw a little of Stacey Dash’s fashion influence in one of Dream Doll’s outfits. Which by the way I thought both of her outfits (pink and green) were absolutely adorable.

So even when it’s all said and done there is a connection that is there between Stacey Dash and certain aspects of black culture.

We just have to continue to heal, learn as well as unlearn to get there.

In the words of Jada Kiss

“WE GONE MAKE IT”

Aaaaahaaaa….

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

1313

On a healing side note:

I think it is also important that when it involves melanated women to make sure that if there is a difference in opinion that it is TRULY YOUR DIFFRENCE in opinion and not taking on an issue with another melanated woman because of certain types of males underlying issues they are not willing to first address within themselves.

Young Melanated Women/Melanated Woman You Are Kind, You Is Smart, You Is Important Too

I just read a very interesting article.

I must admit it was slightly concerning, though.

In this article, there was dissatisfaction with Lil Nås X not receiving an award for his particular body of work.

Somehow, Blue Ivy got engaged in the mix.

No, I do not know Blue Ivy personally.

However, the way society has bullied this young lady since she has been born is too familiar.

That is why I mention the importance of diversity within the diversity.

For me, diversity within diversity means even though you might have a melanated individual, there should be more diversity as far as the different life experiences and different types of melanated people.

You know melanated people are allowed to have different realities and experiences, right?

That also includes without asking for those who attempt to dominate permission….

Within the context of this article, I wanted to touch on the importance of seeing more images of young black women being supported by their parents and others in the community versus always seeing images of young black women being thrown out into society.

I guess maybe that’s one reason I always liked the video and song “Keep Trying” by Groove Theory.

So here’s my theory…

I find it quite interesting how when these same young women that were thrown out into the wolves of society alot of these young melanated women come back leading the pack.

Now all of a sudden it’s that’s my baby.

In certain instances, because of the way young melanated women have been treated within their own culture, I can see how it makes them seek other cultures in order to find acceptance.

I think that’s one reason there are some individuals who, even though they are black they feel Caucasians can do no wrong.

It’s also possible that is another reason when the conversation comes up about Caucasian accountability.

Sometimes Caucasians don’t even have to defend themselves because they know their “black” friend will do it for them.

Maybe it’s a loyalty thing…

However, maybe that will be another article for another day.

I’ve even noticed how there is an adultification of some of our young black girls.

This also includes having young black girls marching in the front row during certain types of protests.

My question is who is protesting for young black girls?

I’m not talking about organizations who use young black girls for photo opps only to later on turn out as an opp after the cameras are long gone.

It’s kind of sad we put all of this pressure on young melanated women and girls only for society to turn around and act surprised and say that today’s young girls act to grown..

I feel before we as a society can say that we also have to look at what we put some of our young melanated girls/women through.

I think because there is not enough balance being shown of young black girls being looked out for, such as images or stories of young melanated women who can go to their parents to ask for or recieve help, especially financially or even being able to get a job position with a little help from their parent’s networking connects.

When we as a society see it, there is a slight envy…

Sometimes that envy can even come from males who also have the same complexion, which I think in certain circumstances further pushes for some young melanated women to seek acceptance from outside cultures.

Some things don’t even need to be said..

You can tell by an individual’s treatment and actions toward a person how that individual truly feels.

What is even more interesting is sometimes I feel that we as a society forget that eventually these “little girls” grow up.

Unfortunately for some melanated women, another set of conformity politics begins as they go through the stages of womanhood.

Hair politics- As if melanated women are supposed to miraculously forget the things that were said to them about their hair as a child.

To me, that is why it is laughable when you have dudes (who are not barbers or cosmetologists) having whole ass therapy podcast sessions on black women and weave.

Yet they continue to deceive.

Making it seem like all the world’s issues is because of a black woman’s weave.

Instead of being concerned about things that can make them astute, they are concerned about a black woman’s hair roots.

Let’s not forget about

Respectability politics- As if the melanated woman is supposed to forget about the conflicting messages she received about being called a hoe.

You know, if she liked boys by a certain age, she was called “fast” (a code word down south for hoe).

Yet, if she DIDN’T LIKE boys by a certain age, she was asked if she was into “womenz” (a code word down south for lesbian).

If you want a visual, please watch the comedy set Rickey Smiley did on bull daggers..he is not lying…lol.

But anywhoo, back to the initial subject…

WOMENZ !!!!!!

Let’ s talk about SEX baby…

Shout out to Salt N Pepa…as well as the fabulous Spinderella…

Pregnancy Politics- As if melanated girls don’t get shamed for being pregnant even though folks act like the young girls got pregnant all by themselves (sideye).

Only to be shamed later on in life if they are NOT pregnant by a certain age.

Let’s not forget how just like in Lion King’s The Circle of Life

the young woman is asked yet AGAIN in her later years if she is sure she is not a lesbian.

Now, this is despite being asked in her younger years if she was a lesbian before, she even knew what a lesbian was.

Yes, unfortunately, these types of questions have been asked and are still being asked by the heterosexual community towards young melanated girls before they even hit puberty.

Oooooh, chilllllddddddd…. somebody please summon

The Five Stairsteps…

Since we are having the “conversation” well, at least the article conversation and since I am a stimulator of thought…

Let’s stimulate…..

I’m about to go there …..

Are You ready?

Anyone who knows me (like that) knows that I can’t stand how the older lady (Ms. Sophie) did those two women in Brewster’s Place.

I’ve always wondered why nobody found it weird that Ms. Sophie was committing voyeurism.

That combined with the scary ass background music when she kept saying I seeent cha….

I know it might seem slightly off subject, however in a way it’s not.

It shows how even when certain melanated women are minding their own black ass business as well as businesses, there is an issue.

But anywhoo…

Back to the respectability politics,

I’ve also seen ….

Cussing Politics- I find it quite interesting how, when melanated women are cussing for others’ rights..

No one seems to have an issue with her cussing.

I’ve seen grown tail sheriffs ask the nearest black woman how you want to handle this when something pops off.

If you don’t believe me, go to your local library…lol

However, when the melanated woman utilizes her magnificent cussing superpowers in the only way a black woman can… for HER RIGHTS, that benefits her.

NOWWWWWWWW, suddenly it’s an issue, and she is supposed to be more ladylike…

Slightly off on another subject, I also find it quite interesting how Mo’Nique (the comedian) could get more support when she spoke on bonnets, yet it is crickets when she speaks on contracts or on WOMEN’S RIGHTS to equal pay.

But hey that’s another subject for another day… Right?

What’s even more interesting is even though there are plenty of melanated women who are lady like and NEVER cuss, it seems like they also get mistreated too.

What are the odds of that?

I think at some point society is going to have to look at itself.

The melanated woman or melanated girl will no longer be a scapegoat.

It is written….

Know The Hook (TU)

Written and Conceived By:

-DaSh’e

1313

Caucasian Panic Time The NEW CPT/The Cons of Calling White Caucasians Supreme.

As you may have noticed, it has been some time since my last post.

As you also may have noticed from my post dated April 2, 2022, regarding MLK day and Tuesdays… especially midnight….

There has been a lot that has taken place since MLK day.

So it looks like we are going to have to go deep.

Unfortunately, with this type of deep, it might hurt a little.

As with anything, there can be cons.

Literally and figuratively.

One of those cons is the word/words white “supremacy”…

I find it quite interesting how individuals like to talk about how divisive CRT is, yet don’t seem to acknowledge how divisive the term white “supremacy” is.

When society gives the title of “supreme” to an individual culture of people, instead of just pizza, it causes issues.

One of those issues is not calling out erratic behavior.

Another issue would be how some individuals will make phone calls about hoodies but are not willing to make phone calls about random white dudes in tactical gear with no tact (or sense) as well as random ass white dudes in big ass trench coats in 100 degree weather.

With the unfortunate incident that occurred in Buffalo, New York, the report of a 911 operator hanging up the phone when an individual was calling for help showed how society sometimes behaves as the 911 operator.

How many times did society hang up the phone because they didn’t want to acknowledge Caucasian misbehavior?

How many times have individuals/ people called for help to alert society that there was an issue/ lack of accountability/ double standard for Caucasian male behavior or just Caucasian behavior in general?

But wait, there’s more…

Have you ever noticed the gloves that are put on when Caucasian males commit crimes of mass destruction?

How they request to go to Burger King showcasing how they are trying to have it their way.

It’s almost like society literally uses kid gloves when dealing with Caucasian males.

Yet, attempts to give them the title of “supreme” as well.

In the words of Kanye,”How Sway!”

I think that is probably one reason people can sometimes get confused because certain Caucasian behavior doesn’t exactly line up with being supreme.

As some elders say…something ain’t clean in the buttermilk.

For instance, everrrrrrrrrrrrrry (in my Clarence the Barber voice) October it’s some Caucasian wearing “blackface” knowing that’s going to piss certain types of melanated people off..

Yet they still do it…

No matter how many times they are told that it is offensive to some black people.

They (Caucasians) round up as attempted regulators and get ready for a next year like they on the Beverly Hillbillies and have the nerve to act like Michael McDonald and keep forgetting.

That doesn’t seem like supreme behavior to me..

But back to the initial subject at hand,

What’s even more interesting is how you never see individuals of other cultures cutting on dogs and posing beside the hurt dogs doing a thumb up sign and smiling to antagonize Caucasians…

Nor do you ever really see other cultures giving fake ass apologies such as if “you” were offended by seeing a hit dog holla excuse me, a hit dog hurt, I apologize.

Now, with that being said because some sectors of society can be petty, don’t be surprised if a random news story surfaces of a dog being cut.

They might even use one of those dogs that mysteriously knows how to look directly in the camera from one of those late night Sarah McLachlan commercials.

You gotta be careful with Caucasians and guitars.

Sometimes Caucasians like to play guitar music to lower your defenses.

Don’t believe me, just watch a Jimmy Dean commercial and if you feel real bold, listen to The Andy Griffith Show theme song they like to hit you with the bells and whistles, too.

Back to the issue at hand, though.

The cons…

It gets to a point where you gotta ask yourself:

Who’s the true majority, and who is the true minority?

If Caucasians were the true majority, would they have to resort to such barbaric survival mode tactics under the disguise of “strength”…. or utilize such tactics such as

1. Gaslight other cultures with the phrase “unity”.

2. Attempt to manipulate other cultures of people against one another even though Caucasians have caused harm to both cultures.

3. Act as if or give the illusion that they (Caucasians) can tell other cultures what “love” is.

4. Attempt to dictate to other cultures when or how they are supposed to forgive.

5. Attempt to tell other cultures how to run their households.

6. Attempt to tell other cultures when or if they can speak their native language.

7. Attempt to tell other cultures how to wear their hair.

8. Attempt to take other cultures’ customs and rename it.

9. Attempt to take other cultures’ property sometimes, including intellectual property, stomps/dance styles, and attempt to pass it off as their own, even if it is uncoordinated.

10. Join other cultures’ healing circles/spaces with ill intentions.

11. Attempt to take over another culture’s healing circle/space.

12. Attempt to intimidate other cultures by doing smear campaigns up until the day they can capitalize off that particular culture’s sacred holidays.

13. Start back up that same smear campaign soon as the clock strikes midnight…

For now….

So, as you can see, there is a lot of divisiveness that comes along with “giving” the title of “supreme” to Caucasians and, to be honest, I have yet to see society as a whole benefit from it.

Maybe one day as a society just like we attempted to bury the “n” word.

(Poor Jesse)

Maybe we as a society can attempt to bury the word/words

“white supremacy”, you know, switch it out.

After all, we are “all” one, right?

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

1313 (TU)

The Times…

I have to say that as I get older the more I have learned to respect those who are upfront about how they feel and upfront about the demographic that they cater to.

I feel that sometimes because people are not upfront about who they cater to it eventually comes out that they were just giving an illusion of inclusion.

I’ve seen where there are people who want to address and point out the illusion but instead they are told that they are operating in delusion.

It’s amazing how the truth has a way of coming out by any means necessary and sometimes it is as a lawsuit..

I guess sometimes the necessary has to occur.

Sometimes we can’t act to surprised.

Eventually, the lies will have to meet their demise.

The signs were there before the lawsuit came about.

You know they say there is always a warning before the storm.

Sometimes….

The warning can also come as signs….

The signs come about when individuals who are working in the organizational structure try to point out the cracks in the foundation.

Only to be turned away..

It comes out when individuals would resign.

After pleading for the 13th time..

Only to have to sigh and eventually walk away.

It comes out when people literally stand outside with signs.

Only to be made fun of for how they spent their day.

Due to people not listening to what they have to say.

Then here comes the “scandal” now certain people who say they are supreme wanna scream.

When they panic now they want everybody else to panic and they want to quote Martin Luther King.

Wanna quote the “dream” but don’t want to give props to the gene.

Wanna attempt to take the content and the continent yet they still not confident.

They liked the illusion of the way things were.

It was working for them.

Not realizing that times must and do change…

Eventually…

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

1313

The Importance Of Cultural Healing Spaces.

I am so grateful for those who create spaces for melanited /melanated people to heal.

Melanated healing spaces are so important, and it is equally important to support melanated healing spaces.

I feel if melanated people went through the trauma by ourselves we should be able and will continue to heal amongst ourselves.

I have been in certain environments where there are melanated people who gather to heal only to have certain types of ill -intentioned people come and insert themselves into melanated healing spaces.

They do not come to learn but to use what Ms. Toni Morrison referred to as the “white gaze”.

I feel that because certain white people know what they do WHEN THEY GATHER in groups they assume melanated people will do the same.

I feel that if you are truly doing and have mutual respect for another culture, you wouldn’t have a need to “gaze” at other cultures as an intimidation tactic.

But as Bob Marley sang:

“Ya must have done (must have done)
Somet’in’ wrong (something wrong)

Why you can’t find the
Place where you belong?
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do (Running Away)
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do (Running Away)
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do (Running Away)
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do (Running Away)

Ya running and ya running
And ya running away.
Ya running and ya running
And ya running away.
Ya running and ya running
And ya running away.
Ya running and ya running
But ya can’t run away from yourself.”

Bob Marley was really speaking on some things especially when he sang :

“Brr – you must have done somet’in’ –
Somet’in’ – somet’in’ – somet’in’ –
Somet’in’ ya don’t want nobody to know about.”

Those are some powerful lyrics.

Let’s dive deeper into this process..

I’ve observed how even when melanated people are trying to process there trauma in a safe space you have certain people that come in to melanated healing spaces to attempt to re-traumatize melanated people.

They act like the melanated healing space is a game of Uno.

Throwing out the “reverse racism card” while attempting to do uncoordinated cha cha slides with sprinkles of gaslighting.

I’ve been in situations where certain people of ill-intent purposely come to spread discord into melanated healing spaces.

Often, there has to be another session to detox from the uno games that are played when certain white people come into melanated healing spaces.

Certain white people who have ill-intent will often interrupt when a melanated person tells their story they will interject and tell stories about what happened to THEM when they encountered Blaaaaaaack people.

The next thing you know the healing space no longer is about the melanated person and the healing session becomes about the ill-intentioned white person.

Who did not even come into the space to heal.

Instead, they come to tell melanated people how they should feel.

This doesn’t just happen in healing spaces it happens in certain businesses that inadvertently turn into healing spaces.

Does anyone remember a couple of years back when the Shea Moisture controversy happened?

You had melanated women who were sharing their stories of what they dealt with regarding their hair only for certain types of white females to come in and attempt to co-opt.

Of course, and rightfully so there were melanated women who saw the “hook” and spoke on the tactic that was being used.

It was almost like where did these white females come from that were embracing curly hair all of a sudden?

It was like Blazing Saddles, “Where the white women at?”

I’ll tell you where some of them were, taking part in bullying Black women.

That’s why certain behavior patterns were called out because it was a fakeness to it.

I’m not even talking about hair at this point.

Especially, because certain white females have a habit of participating in bullying of black women and in the words of E. Garcia:

“Only, notice the ,”difference” when it suits them.”

When certain white females behavior are called out melanated women are gaslight and told that they are the issue and melanated women get told THEY are jealous or envious as if jealously and envious has a color or race attached to it.

But, hey we ALL one right?

I feel that if this “UNITY” thing is supposed to be real.

There has to be a part in society whereas the Williams Brothers sang we have to “Sweep Around” our own front door.

Each of us.

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

1313