I believe that in light of Simone Biles recent headlines, it’s important to take advantage of this teachable moment.

With so many moving goalposts when it comes to the melanated woman in regards to skin tone, hair, hair texture, and dating among other things.

I feel it is important that melanated women do not internalize the stereotypes or narratives that disempower them.

I feel that in certain aspects, we must check to make sure that we are not holding ourselves to a higher standard but not the same higher respect.

I’ve noticed how certain narratives are put out concerning “black” women and marriage.

I’m also noticing how the goalposts are moved when other realities are shown that counter certain narratives concerning “black” women.

It also seems that there is a moving of the goalpost when it comes to “black” love.

Which sometimes comes across as if “black” love is not being authentically celebrated in certain aspects.

It seems that certain married melanated women are placed under a microscope.

A microscope that shows how some people think that marriage should be reserved for a certain “type” of woman.

Even when it comes to looks.

You know beauty is not owned.

Right?

Very good…in the words of Tabitha Brown…lol

However, we still have to address some of the things that we are shown.

It’s interesting how instead of these women being celebrated to show that there are a plethora of different types of melanated women with different personality types as well as different looks.

As well as the different types of men who appreciate the diversity of melanated women and all that it entails.

It seems to be a hook.

The hook is :

Black women have a hard time getting married.
Black women are having a hard time dating.
Black women are “single”…

Certain individuals act as if getting married, dating, or single is not universal…lol

Yet, we see different types of melanated women getting married, dating, and engaging in companionship every day.

It seems as if the hook is also connected to trying to make a woman feel that her value is connected to whether she is married or not.

That would probably be another subject matter.

However, we must get to the root of the matter.

If we are totally honest.

How many times have we seen women like :

Tiny
Tameka Foster
Lateasha “Sweet Tea” Lunceford

And now

Simone Biles

Being maligned and talked about in harmful ways instead of being celebrated for how they can counter the negative maze.

I think it is important with the latest situation with Simone Biles.

To ask if Simone Biles is low-key being “shamed” for a statement that HER HUSBAND DECIDED to make.

I am not sure what it is about melanated gymnasts and the negative narratives around their hair instead of their amazing athletic abilities.

So, for me due to seeing countless situations of how even with young melanated girls the goalposts are moved especially concerning their hair.

Example:

If a young melanated girl focuses on her hair she is being “fast” or too “grown”.

Yet, if she isn’t they ask why they not doing her hair at home.

So, yes it is really hard for me to not see the underlying element that is at play.

Especially when older women are commenting in a negative way.

This also entails discussing if some of the older women are participating in the unbalanced shaming of young melanated women.

I feel like the unbalanced shaming is one of the many contributing factors to the divide between young women and older women.

I believe it is crucial for young women with melanin who are receptive to guidance to have access to balanced advice.

Older women can be a valuable source of such guidance for our young melanated women.

Only the wise ones…

Only the wise ones…lol.

Now, back to the element of the moving goalposts.

It seems that now that Simone Biles (as well as many others) have countered the “single” black woman narrative.

Now there seems to be another goalpost.

Dissecting on how/why she “got” married.

It’s important to be aware of the different narratives and standards that are placed on us, especially as melanated women .

We need to make sure that we are not internalizing these harmful ideas and that we are not holding ourselves to unfair or unrealistic standards.

It’s also important to recognize when others are applying standards to us that they don’t even apply to themselves.

By being aware and proactive, we can empower ourselves and each other to break down these barriers and move forward with confidence and self-love.

Remember : A rose is still a rose.

We been worthy.

Dipped In Love,

Written and Conceived

DaSh’e

1313

AMHWJBO