As I have stated before sometimes trauma has layers, and sometimes we have to be intricate in how we deal with those layers.

Just like trauma has layers to it sometimes certain conversational topics have layers as well.

With that being said, sometimes it takes intricate ways to discuss certain conversational topics.

Especially, amongst certain cultures.

Just like roots vary, certain cultures vary.

Sometimes, getting to the root of how a culture heals will vary.

Sometimes, that also includes the way certain cultures heal amongst one another.

So let’s get to the root….

That is if we as a society are truly serious about the matter and actually want to get to the root of a matter.

One root at a time

I hope that this current series that I am writing will be a part of one of the many solutions to get to the root in order to uproot certain things…

In, the words of The Gap Band when the brotha spoke into the headset and said “okay”….

Fire drum sticks and all…

Lol…

After observing the beautiful Marsai Martin taking part in the Savage X Fenty Show.

I find it quite interesting how this is not the first time we as a society have projected our issues onto Marsai Martin.

There have been multiple situations in which Marsai Martin showed more maturity and grace than the grown adults that were projecting their own inner issues onto her.

Unfortunately, there are too many young melanated girls who have had to deal with how to process grown adults inner childhood wound projections before they can process the world.

I also find it interesting the dynamics that come into play with the movie “Little” vs the dynamics at play with the movie “Freaky Friday”.

Those two movies for me showcased how young melanted girls are treated even in movie portrayals.

If you look over your shoulder honey… (shout out to MJ)….

You even see the double standard in real life..

Maybe this is what they meant when they said art imitates life…

But anywhoo..

Back to the subject at hand…

The double standard in real life.

Regarding Marsai Martin, I have seen nothing but amazing and inspirational projects and business ventures coming from this young lady.

Yet she is still being criticized.

Despite, the spite this young lady is still out, and about living and giving other young people in her age group inspiration and showing them they can pursue their creative dreams.

No matter their age.

It is also quite interesting how, even when Marsai Martin was playing the character Diane she spoke on the type of comments she receieved regarding her hair.

Sooooooooooo, at some point we in society have to ask ourselves certain questions.

Even if it is layer by layer..

1st layer: Why is it that when young melanated girls are being children and not focusing on “looks” they get critiqued?

2nd layer: Why is it that when young melanated girls get older and begin to explore their looks and highlight their beautiful features, they get critiqued even more?

At, some point WE AS ADULTS have to dive deeper pull back another layer and ask ourselves:

How much of Marsai Martin walking in the Savage X Fenty show is showcasing back to us about our own childhood trauma and the things that we were taught about how young melanated girls are SUPPOSED to be.

Marsai is an example of MANY young melanated girls showing us that even when young melanated girls do the things that they are “supposed” to do…

Certain parts of society are predisposed to continue to move this imaginary bar further to see if and how far melanated girls (sometimes women) will jump.

Melanated women and young girls are not Kriss Kross and even though we can double dutch with the best of them.

As well as continuing “Rising To The Top”, like Keni Burke and high jumping over the bars like Ms. Alice Coachman.

Just like all things.

Certain things must come to a rest.

Now.

I’m so tempted to quote Bernie Mac when he played Uncle Vester and sat Kid down in House Party 3 and told him what to do with crazy glue.

However, I don’t think it would be appropriate for this article.

Hey, I’m still learning though…

Marvin Gaye said it best when he sang ” Oh, life is for learning.”

On another note, I hear people say the phrase if you see something say something.

I would hope this phrase/message would also include –

If you see someone getting bullied or harassed to say something as well.

This can deescalate a lot of situations.

Self-control is the real control…

Shout-out to Ms. Janet…

We don’t have to be nasty..

We can deescalate situations when we see someone getting bullied.

Not only in schools but also in workplaces and some of these political ads.

This also includes the scary Friday the 13th soundtrack background music that is played in EVERY political ad, even though society is well into November…

At some point somebody need to switch the background music up.

Like Shannon said…

Let The Music Play…

Come to think of it…

Let’s include some of these city council meetings.

I mean who needs Netflix? Lol.

Some of these city council meetings are so good if they post a local food truck outside it would be lit!

Sounds like a win-win…

Supporting local businesses while talking business.

Like, on some Teena Marie Square Biz while using Squarespace business practices…

Like legit..

2 legit 2 quit (shout-out to MC Hammer) because

Hey leadership and change starts at the top…..

Right?

But anywhoo…

I feel we as a society (those that legit care) should continue to work on authentic safe spaces for young melanted girls.

I think it has even gotten to where certain types of males shouldn’t even be allowed to address our young melanated girls until they have addressed or at least willfully working on their own issues with the adult women in their own lives first.

I see that there are too many males who are addressing women issues yet not dealing with their own issues first.

How can you be one of the causes of women issues yet trying to give women advice of the effect on their own issues that you are a part of?

It’ll never work.

I’ll tell you another thing that will never work.

Certain type of males trying to give advice to women about the care of their wombs..

If I see one mo “kundalini” male with a big ass super soaker pad up by his ear like it’s a cell phone trying to tell women about they periods we might just have to have a Bernie Mac situation.

The issh is getting ridiculous…

WTF?

If you are having a hard time being productive of helping a woman how can you give advice to a woman on how to deal with her reproductive?

I know I veered off a little, but I had to get that off my chest…

Certain things just have to be spoke on..

Layer by layer…

Such as where are these dudes even getting these super soaker pads from?

Oooh chile…

Let’s hope things get a little easier…

They say community is a group of individuals that have a shared imagined reality…

Maybe the reason certain individuals can’t be a part of the “community” is because with certain individuals they think it’s okay to project and mistreat young melanated girls without consequences and repercussions.

In, certain people’s lives and or life that will NEVVVA be a reality so there will definitely not be any sharing of a reality of causing harm to young melanated girls so they better get the taste out they mouth.

Now.

I’m also learning that in life there might really be something to this quote:

“Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity.”

-Author Unknown

I’m also learning that true community requires openness and commitment to truth and sometimes it will take having those hard conversations NOW so that we can avoid foolishness later.

With that, needing to be said.

I think that we as melanated women need to make sure that if there is a situation that needs to be addressed with a young melanated lady we need to ALSO MAKE SURE that we are not “parroting” certain types of talking points from certain types of species of males who have yet to authentically as well as willingly address their underlying issues with women first.

On another note..

Regarding some of OUR award shows…

I notice that there are more awards that are being given out to our melanated women and our young melanated girls.

That is definitely a wonderful thing to see…

However, I would love to see apology letters given out in OUR award shows.

The adultification as well as the bullying of young melanated girls started way before Marsai Martin ….

Anyone remember Rachel Jeantel?

Blue-Ivy?

Anyone remember the treatment of Venus and Serena Williams before and during their pre-teen years?

If it is anything that Venus and Serena Williams taught us (besides how to slay in tennis) is that eventually, those same young melanted girls grow up.

Some of us “adults” in the “black” community should follow suit and do the same.

Dipped In Love,

DaSh’e

1313

AMHWJBO

I WIIILLLL say though that as I get older, I see why people say certain things.