When Did Defending Black Women Become Toxic?

One of the most interesting things that happens with national headlines is sometimes it trickles down into our everyday lives and gets conversations started.

I find it quite interesting how when Ms. Janet Hubert (affectionally known as Aunt Viv) was going through her trials and tribulations it was certain parts of society that saw nothing wrong with it.

Of course, since then amends have been made between Ms. Hubert and Will Smith.

However, I find it quite interesting how when Will Smith defended an melanated woman his wife Ms. Jada Pinkett-Smith all of sudden his name is being connected to toxic masculinity.

It’s also interesting how I never heard the phrase toxic masculinity connected to what happened to Emmett Till.

However, with all that being said, to me, the issue isn’t toxic masculinity.

It seems certain individuals’ stereotypical thinking is toxic.

It also seems like there is this underlying message that black women don’t deserve to be protected but if that type of statement was said publicly it would cause a backlash, so I’ve observed how certain individuals use situations like the Oscar’s as a cover to covertly express how they truly feel.

As I continue to get older, I realize that depending on your life experiences and mindset in the words of The Dramatics ”Whatcha See Is Whatcha Get”.

For me what I saw at the Oscars was how there were four different aspects of melanated males yet stereotypes were still at play.

There was Will Smith who reacted.

Chris Rock who did not react.

Yet, people still talked about them both.

Which goes to show that if a black male reacts, it’s an issue if a black male stays calm it’s still considered an issue.

I also saw Denzel Washington and Tyler Perry who in their own way showed compassion and a sense of brotherhood as far as providing solace to Will Smith.

Which to me showcased that there are melanated men who have a way of showing in action and deed how to let cooler heads prevail .

I also saw two men who came to another melanated mans aid to let him know he wasn’t alone.

It was interesting how much focus was put upon Will Smith after the slap and somehow suddenly he was supposed to carry the full mantle of black males worldwide.

To me, with some conversations, it seemed more like certain individual stereotypes of black men were coming to surface worldwide.

With one particular conversation I was having, I had to ask, is this really about Will Smith or is this really about your stereotypes or true feelings about how you feel about black males as a whole?

I must admit that was a lot to unpack.

As an 80s baby, I grew up watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-air.

I related to Will’s character a lot as far as moving in with family members and being blamed for things (lol).

However, that is a story for another time.

But back to the premise of this article, I grew up watching Fresh Prince of Belair, but as I got older and went through a couple of life experiences;

I realized how back in the day Will’s character on the Fresh Prince of Belair was uplifted and emulated while Carlton’s character was looked upon as whack and corny.

It wasn’t just Fresh Prince of Belair, though we had movies such

Class Act with Kid N’Play that kinda had that same narrative.

Remember Blade Brown?

I don’t why, but for some reason Blade Brown reminds me of Tariq Nasheed.

But anyway…

It’s kinda interesting how in this reality Will Smith’s image is somewhat like Carlton’s.

It’s makes me wonder, do males make fun of other males when they treat women with respect?

I’ve even noticed how, for certain types of males who don’t have a public image of disrespecting women, their sexuality is questioned.

While it seems like the meaner and more disrespectful, some males are towards women, the more respect they seem to get.

I’ve even observed how Tyler Perry is treated in a similar manner as Will Smith.

As I get older, I have a different perspective when I hear the gripes about Tyler Perry putting on a dress.

I wonder is it really about Tyler Perry wearing a dress or is it that Tyler Perry has a way of telling the stories of how some women have been treated by certain types of males.

It’s quite interesting how Tyler Perry’s wearing of a dress is controversial but when it comes to Big Momma’s House (Sherrrrrrrrrray) lol, Norbit, and Wanda (In Living Color) character it was in the word’s of De La Soul it was, “All Good”, but hey sometimes things don’t go like you think they should.

Which brings the question is the only time it’s okay to dress up like a black woman is when you are making fun of her?

Just a question.

Which kinda goes back to my original question:

When did defending a black woman become toxic?

But, as time goes on I’m understanding more and more (hey Joe) these lyrics:

“I don’t care about what you think you see
The things you want to know when you look at me
God knows I done been through and paid my dues
Can’t change how you feel, ’cause it’s all on you”.

-Chaka Khan

Written and Conceived By:

DaSh’e

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